Ensuring success at home, while deployed

  • Published
  • By By Maj. Nicole Dye
  • 319th Communications Squadron
You just received the notification of your deployment and you realize that 120 days is the minimum you will be apart from your family. But you accept it: it comes with the job and is something you can expect many times during your career. 

What do you do first? For me, the first step is to tell my husband, who also happens to be a servicemember, so we can put our plan into action. Luckily, we have learned a few “tricks of the trade” over the years to overcome the challenges. 

The key to a successful deployment is having a plan for everything; finances, children (even if they are the four-legged canine type like ours), housing, vehicles and so on. When we were both deployed at the same time last year, we put together a tabbed binder for our house/puppy sitter that listed everything including where we had the car serviced, the kennel/veterinarian contact information, family contact information, neighbors and more. We reviewed the binder with the sitter to make sure she understood everything and it became an invaluable tool for her, providing with answers to all the questions she had. 

Communication is another key. You have to let your spouse and family know your concerns, problems and expectations. People are not mind readers and miscommunication often leads to arguments, hurt feelings and an overall unpleasant situation. 

For us, being joint spouses gives us better insight into what each other has to go through during deployments. I already know all the stops my husband will have to make to get his checklist completed. I know that his mind won’t be focused on matters at home but that he will be already be “deployed” before he sets foot out the door. This helps keep me from getting upset when it seems like he’s distancing himself from me and other family members. I know it’s part of the process and I don’t take it personally. 

A deployed couple needs to form a team to ensure success. The spouse staying home must be ready to take on roles that may previously have been filled by the deploying spouse. Most important, there has to be trust. The deploying spouse doesn’t have the time to be worried about what is happening at home. They need to stay focused on the task at hand so they can return home safely. 

Deployment time offers some poignant experiences. We both have had tearful goodbyes and joyful reunions, which, no doubt, made us better leaders. We truly understand what deploying Airmen and spouses are going through. 

Finally, no matter how many times we deploy or send each other off, the key ingredient to a successful deployment is family and friends - no one is an island and that’s why we are happy to be part of the larger Air Force family.